Archive for Movie Reviews

The VelociPastor Movie Review

Aug 14, 2019 No Comments

Lord have mercy. So, I just finished watching the award-winning, highly anticipated film, The VelociPastor. Writer/director Brendan Steere’s parodical story about how a “man of the claw” discovers that he’s got the ability to transform into a fierce velociraptor to battle evil…or ninjas. Sounds like a great plot, right? I know, I was super excited […]

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D-Railed Movie Review

Aug 06, 2019 No Comments

Trains make wonderful movie sets, particularly if the director wants to imbue his or her work with a sense of danger and claustrophobia. Sure, the clickety-clack of your locomotive may be relaxing, but you’re a captive audience in cloistered confines perched on steel rails often hurtling at breakneck speed over mountains, rivers and isolated terrain. […]

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Clinton Road Movie Review

Jul 18, 2019 No Comments

Take the most notoriously haunted area in the U.S. and litter it with a bunch of the douchiest douchebags to ever exist, and whaddaya get? You get one of the dumbest “horror” movies ever made. Clinton Road is the title of this movie, and there’s not much, if anything, nice that can be said about […]

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Dolls Movie Review

Jul 11, 2019 No Comments

The horror genre sure loves a possessed doll, doesn’t it? I’ve never been a fan of dolls. In fact, I’ve stripped, amputated and decapitated my fair share of them in my lifetime. Oh, and let it be known that I’ll smack the shit out of a bitch if they think it’s cute to call me […]

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Godzilla, King of The Monsters Movie Review

Jun 19, 2019 No Comments

Being a professor of kaijuology, I know a thing or two about giant monsters. Yet, MONARCH never bothered to give me a call. Based on what I see of that organization in Godzilla, King of the Monsters, it’s probably just as well. They don’t seem to know Ghidorah from fedora. But that is neither here […]

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Terror in the Skies Documentary Review

Jun 05, 2019 No Comments

Giant birds snatching children out of yards. Terrifying man-bird hybrids stalking the countryside in the middle of the night. Pterodactyls screaming through the clouds! Welcome to Illinois, folks! I have always been fascinated with the weird and strange stories of the Land of Lincoln. The state has quite a reputation as a hotspot for weird […]

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Winterskin Movie Review

May 29, 2019 No Comments

Does a movie centered on an old woman and a wounded young man stuck in a cabin in a desolate wintry landscape sound scary? What if one were to add in the premise of skinless monsters hellbent on flaying and eating the skin of their victims? Winterskin from director Charlie Steeds certainly has a lot […]

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On the Trail of Bigfoot Documentary Review

May 21, 2019 No Comments

It takes a whole team of gumshoes to find one Bigfoot. Small Town Monsters (the production team that brought you The Bray Road Beast, and my personal favorite, The Mothman of Point Pleasant) offers up a six-part investigative miniseries on the monster so monstrous he has his own monster truck. The Hulk Hogan of cryptozoology. […]

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Room for Rent Movie Review

May 15, 2019 No Comments

I just finished watching another offering from our friends at Uncork’d Entertainment called, Room for Rent (2019). This gem comes to us from writer Stuart Flack and director Tommy Stovall (Hate Crime, Aaron’s Blood). The female lead, and the entire reason why I wanted to watch this film, is none other than the beloved Lin […]

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Scary Stories Documentary Review

May 09, 2019 No Comments

There is a particularly potent quote in Scary Stories, filmmaker Cody Meirick’s documentary about the work of celebrated children’s horror story author Alvin Schwartz, that resonates long after the screen goes dark. Oddly, it’s not about Schwartz but about fellow children’s literature icon R.L. Stine. In this recollection, Stine talks of meeting the world’s most […]

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